I read a tweet from Pope Francis in which he reminded young people (and all of us) that God loves them! He was strong in this reminder and wants every young person to remember this truth.
It’s easy, although painful sometimes, to forget how much we’re loved and accepted by God as we are and because of who we are. This doesn’t mean we’re perfect or that we don’t have to make changes in our lives. It does mean that even while we are imperfect, even as we long to know what God is asking of us, we are held closely in a loving embrace by the Author of Life, our loving God.
This truth is good to remember when we get lost in the confusion and questions of a discernment journey. We may feel like we are choosing between two goods or among several good options for our lives. That’s because we are! God’s love shows up in the abundance of choices before us.
However painful the striving to know or the struggle to choose the right path for our lives, it can help to know that all during the discernment, at every point in the process, God is loving us and encouraging us.
Once we choose and our decision is made, we have room to notice the peace of God is there with us! May you experience the powerful presence of this love as you discern your call.
Leí un tweet de Papá Francisco en el que les recordó a los jóvenes (y a todas nosotras) que Dios los ama. Enfatizó fuertemente este recordatorio y quiere que cada joven recuerde esta verdad.
Es fácil, aunque doloroso a veces, olvidar cuánto somos amadas y aceptadas por Dios como somos y por quienes somos. Esto no significa que seamos perfectas o que no tengamos que hacer cambios en nuestras vidas. Significa que aun siendo imperfectas, incluso cuando deseamos saber lo que Dios nos está pidiendo, el Autor de la Vida, nuestro amoroso Dios, nos mantiene en sus brazos amorosos.
Es bueno recordar esta verdad cuando nos perdemos en la confusión y las preguntas de la jornada del discernimiento. Tal vez nos sintamos que estamos eligiendo entre dos bienes o entre varias buenas opciones para nuestras vidas. Eso es porque asi es! El amor de Dios se manifiesta en la abundancia de opciones que tenemos ante nosotras.
Por más doloroso que sea el esfuerzo por saber o la lucha por elegir el camino correcto para nuestras vidas, puede ayudar en saber que durante el discernimiento, en cada punto del proceso, Dios nos ama y nos alienta.
Una vez que elegimos y hagamos nuestra decisión, ¡tenemos la libertad para darnos cuenta que la paz de Dios está allí con nosotras! Que experimentes la poderosa presencia de este amor al discernir tu llamado.
Tossing and turning most of the night a young friend of mine admitted she was also turning over and over a few possibilities in her mind about a decision she had to make for her life. Do you ever feel like you tie yourself in knots and lose sleep when you’re trying to decide?
The more challenging and consequential a decision is, the more time and energy we often spend trying to be sure it’s the right decision. Is it possible to arrive at the right decision? Or is it more fruitful to think of it as just the next decision to make with good intentions, plentiful information, fervent prayer and conversation with those wise mentors in our lives who notice our struggles and show up to support us however they can?
I suggest the latter is the case. While there’s relief in coming to a decision, there’s assurance when we get confirmation from those who know us well and from a sense in our hearts that this is the right decision. Daily living out of the decision we make for our lives affords steady, assuring feedback that confirms it. It’s that inner peace that may be the strongest confirmation of our choice(s).
May you have the inner peace for which you long,
To support your decision-making, click here: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLuoxvsAgi-bznZeOL9hakRZtSKwz1Gg_i
Reflexiones en la Noche
Dando vueltas la mayor parte de la noche, una joven amiga mía admitió que también estaba dando vueltas una y otra vez en su mente acerca de una decisión que tenía que tomar por su vida. ¿Alguna vez te has sentido que te atas en nudos y pierdes el sueño cuando estás tratando de decidir?
Cuanto más desafiante y consecuente sea una decisión, muchas veces gastamos más tiempo y energía tratando de asegurarnos de que sea la decisión correcta. ¿Es posible llegar a la decisión correcta? ¿O es más fructífero pensar que solo es la próxima decisión a tomar con buenas intenciones, abundante información, oración ferviente y conversación con aquellos sabios mentores en nuestras vidas que notan nuestras luchas y se presentan para apoyarnos como puedan?
En este caso, sugiero lo último. Si bien hay alivio al tomar una decisión, hay seguridad cuando recibimos la confirmación de aquellos que nos conocen bien y de algún modo en nuestro corazón, que esta es la decisión correcta. La vida diaria a partir de la decisión que tomamos por nuestra vida nos brinda una respuesta constante y segura que lo confirma. Es esa paz interior la que puede ser la confirmación más sólida de nuestra(s) decisión (es).
Que tengas la paz interior que anhelas,
Para apoyar el procesos de su decisión, haga clic aquí: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLuoxvsAgi-bznZeOL9hakRZtSKwz1Gg_i
When I was a first year family therapist, I had the good fortune of working with a gentleman who was intent on healing from some debilitating issues getting in his way of living a healthy life. He was faithful to his appointments and clearly did the emotional work he needed to do with his family between sessions. What happened to me after several months of working with him surprised me.
I consulted with a supervisor at the time and lamented to her that I didn’t know what else to do with this man. Everything I suggested, every question I asked him came to a dead end. I was stumped. She wisely commented, “Maybe he has finished his work with you.”
Stunned, I replied, “Oh, it never dawned on me that someone actually finished their therapy! I guess that’s it!” Later he confirmed he’d finished his work for now.
I bring this up because the same surprise could be in store for us when we’re discerning a life choice. When we’ve spent adequate amounts of time in prayer, weighed our options with friends, family members and wise mentors, the thing that’s left is to decide, to choose one direction, one life path and try living it. It’s the only way to know whether or not this path is a “fit”.
Just as in a vegetable garden there comes time for the harvest. To neglect picking the vegetables is to let them die or fall to the ground. No one wants to eat them then. Let’s be alert for our time to harvest.
Enjoy the harvest in its time,
More than simply making a decision, spiritual discernment is decision-making that is rooted in self-knowledge as well as a deep awareness of God’s loving presence and action in our lives. Because we know God as our creator and redeemer, we lean on that graced friendship with God to help us make a good and life-giving decision.
There are many tried-and-true tools that help us prepare the soil for a fruitful discernment process. First, we need to define prayerfully the issue for discernment. It is helpful to focus our issue carefully enough to be able to state it in the form of a question that can be answered yes or no. So for example, rather than ask a more general question like, “What shall I do with my life?” we can fine-tune the question to ask something more specific like, “Will I apply to become a sister with the Adrian Dominicans?” Once the decision before us is well defined, we need to apply the tool of fact-finding. What kinds of relevant data do we need in order to make an informed decision? Once all of the facts are gathered, we can begin to assess and evaluate the data. In this process, we stay attentive to all of the thoughts and feelings that arise as we consider the different dimensions of our decision. The tool of journal keeping is helpful here.
Another handy tool in the toolbox of discernment is dialogue with others. We need to share the different aspects of our decision with the wisdom figures in our life, those who know us well and care deeply about our well-being. Equally important is the tool of solitude, where we invite God into our decision-making process. We need to confide in God our hopes, dreams, expectations, doubts, and fears. We then listen carefully to how God responds to us. A good spiritual director can help us in this discernment process.
Dominican Sister Cathy Arnold shared a useful tool of imagination that she used in discerning her call to religious life. Her spiritual director advised her to imagine herself in each choice for two weeks. So for two weeks, she lived as if she had made the decision to become a Dominican Sister. She reflected on how she felt when she woke up in the morning. What were her thoughts and feelings throughout the two weeks? Then she reversed the process and lived as if she had made the opposite decision. How did she feel? Was she relieved or devastated by the change? Click on the following link to hear Sister Cathy’s discussion on discernment: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WwWPM4QtGwY.
Finally, how do we know that our choice represents God’s deepest desires for us? Signs of validation include feelings of inner peace and joy with our decision, as well as the confirmation of the others who have shared in our discernment process.
Are you discerning an important life decision? What are your tools for the discernment process?
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Sister Tarianne DeYonker, OP
Sister Mariane Fahlman, OP
Adrian Dominican Sisters
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Adrian, Michigan 49221-1793
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Get out your bell-bottoms and platform shoes, because DISCO is here!
Okay, so it's a little less dancing, a little more talking... Sisters Lorraine Réaume, OP, and Sara Fairbanks, OP, have a video series called DISCO (Discernment Conversations): Dancing with the questions of life!