Instead of asking directly what to do in life, an additional way to discover what God may be calling us to in our lives is to ask ourselves the question, “What if I don’t do this or that?” The discernment process can be compared to an expert jeweler examining a fine diamond. The jeweler turns the diamond one way and then another to catch the light in order to see the many facets of this exquisite jewel. The cut of the jewel determines the number of facets there will be to examine.
It’s the same when we are looking at our future and asking, “Where does God want me to invest my life and my gifts?” It’s vital to turn our lives this way and that to consider the “what-ifs”. Surprises show up and we begin to see something new – a new facet of life on which to base our choice. With a little bit of courage, we ask the question above – what if I don’t do it?
Regret that we never tried living out a choice can be much harder to live with than risking a mistake. Mary, the mother of Jesus, took a risk when the angel Gabriel announced she would be the mother of God’s Son and she responded with her “Yes.” Like the rest of us, she had no way of knowing how the rest of her life would play out or what joys and sufferings would be part of it. She just gave her “yes” and then stayed open to how God would lead her through the next step and the ones after that.
How about for you? What if you don’t follow what’s nudging you from the depths of your heart?
Sister Tarianne
Mirando Desde Un Lado Opuesto
En lugar de preguntar directamente qué hacer en la vida, una forma adicional de descubrir a lo que Dios puede estar llamándonos en nuestras vidas es hacernos la pregunta: "¿Qué pasará si no hago esto o aquello?" El proceso de discernimiento puede ser comparado con un joyero experto que examina un diamante fino. El joyero mueve el diamante de un lado para otro para captar la luz y ver las múltiples facetas de esta exquisita joya. El corte de la joya determina el número de facetas que habrá que examinar.
Es lo mismo cuando miramos nuestro futuro y preguntamos: "¿Dónde quiere Dios que invierta mi vida y mis dones?" Es vital mover nuestras vidas de un lado para otro para considerar el "qué pasaría si." Aparecen sorpresas y comenzamos a ver algo nuevo – una nueva faceta de la vida en la que basar nuestra decisión. Con un poco de valor, hacemos la pregunta anterior: ¿Qué pasará si no lo hago?
Lamentar que nunca hayamos intentado vivir nuestra decision, puede ser mucho más difícil que arriesgar cometer un error. María, la madre de Jesús, se arriesgó cuando el ángel Gabriel anunció que sería la madre del Hijo de Dios y ella respondió con su "Sí." Como el resto de nosotras, no tenía forma de saber cómo saldría el resto de su vida o qué alegrías y sufrimientos serían parte de ella. Ella simplemente dió su "Sí" y luego se mantuvo abierta a cómo Dios la guiaría a través del siguiente paso y sus futuros pasos.
¿Qué tal para usted? ¿Qué pasará si no sigue lo que la empuja desde lo más profundo de su corazón?
Hermana Tarianne
For Jarelyn, timing was important in her discernment process. First the questions started rising in her and she tried finding the answers within herself. At some point the answers stopped coming as easily and then they stopped coming at all. She felt stuck.
She tried talking with friends and one of her co-workers that she was close to, but they only helped a little. The wisest friend mentioned to her that she was meeting every month with a spiritual director at her church and how much it was helping her focus and be at peace. Her friend suggested she contact this person to see if she could help her move forward in her search.
What Jarelyn discovered was that the spiritual director was trained to listen deeply to people on a spiritual search, to ask perceptive questions and to offer suggested practices that could help Jarelyn with the life decisions that lay before her at this moment.
As disciples of Jesus on a journey together we are in a common search for what God is calling us toward in order to become who we were created to become. The good news is that the Spirit accompanies us in this journey and leads us toward companions who give us just the help we need at the time. Blessed be the grace of the Holy Spirit!
Blessings as you walk with the companions who are sent especially to help you, Sister Tarianne
To contact one of our spiritual directors, click here.
Cómo Pueden Ayudar Las Directoras Espirituales
Para Jarelyn, el momento oportuno era importante en su proceso de discernimiento. Al principio las preguntas comenzaron a surgir en ella e intentó encontrar las respuestas dentro de sí misma.Después de un tiempo, las respuestas dejaron de llegar tan fácilmente y luego dejaron de llegar.Ella se sintió estancada.
Intentó hablar con sus amigas y una de sus compañeras del trabajo con la que estaba cerca, pero solo ayudaron un poco.La amiga más sabia le mencionó que se reunía todos los meses con una directora espiritual en su iglesia y cuánto le ayudaba a concentrarse y estar en paz.Su amiga le sugirió que se comunicara con esta persona para ver si podía ayudarla a avanzar en su búsqueda.
Lo que descubrió Jarelyn fué que la directora espiritual estaba entrenado para escuchar profundamente a las personas en una búsqueda espiritual, para hacer preguntas perceptivas y para ofrecer prácticas que le podrían ayudar a Jarelyn con las decisiones de la vida que le enfrentaban en este momento.
Como discípulos de Jesús juntas en una jornada, estamos en una búsqueda común hacia a lo que Dios nos está llamando para convertirnos en lo que fuimos creadas a ser.La buena noticia es que el Espíritu nos acompaña en esta jornada y nos guía hacia compañeras que nos brindan la ayuda que necesitamos en ese momento. ¡Bendita sea la gracia del Espíritu Santo!
Bendiciones mientras camina con las compañeras que son enviadas especialmente para ayudarle, Hermana Tarianne
Para comunicarse con una de nuestras directoras espirituales, haga clic aquí.
During the life of Jesus, notice how he centered everything in relationships; with his Father and the Spirit, but also with his immediate family, his close disciples/friends and those in need of healing and challenging to live in right relationships with truth, love and all creation. When he became human, he did it because of a relationship with the rest of us humans.
Now it’s our turn in our daily lives to carry on the same kinds of relationships, especially ones that take us out of our comfort zone, those that demand that we love everyone, even the unlovable and those who are different from us.
As we discern God’s call for our lives, how can we best be about relationships? What life form – religious life, priesthood, married life or single life – would allow us to be about the priority of creating and sustaining right relationships? What clues do we find in our hearts for this deep call of service? What more information do we need before we take the risk of deciding? What is the right time for a decision because one of the pitfalls of discernment is to keep discerning and not decide. In other words, we can get stuck.
If we can help you with making a decision or to get unstuck, please be in touch. You also may want to view these stories of others who have taken the risk and decided.
May the Spirit guide you to your decision, Sister Tarianne
Una Vida Centrada en las Relaciones
Durante la vida de Jesús, note cómo centró todo en las relaciones; con su Padre y el Espíritu, pero también con su familia inmediata, sus discípulos / amigos cercanos y aquellos necesitados de la sanidad y enfrentando el desafío de vivir en relaciones saludables con la verdad, el amor y toda la creación. Cuando se volvió humano, lo hizo debido a una relación con los demás de nosotros, los humanos.
Ahora es nuestra oportunidad en nuestras vidas diarias para mantener los mismos tipos de relaciones, especialmente las que nos sacan de nuestra zona de comodidad, las que exigen amar a todos, incluso los que no son amables y los que son diferentes a nosotros.
A medida que discernimos el llamado de Dios para nuestras vidas, ¿cómo podemos ser mejores en las relaciones? ¿Qué forma de vida - vida religiosa, sacerdocio, vida matrimonial o vida soltera - nos permitiría priorizar la creación y sostenimiento de relaciones saludables? ¿Qué indicaciones encontramos en nuestros corazones para este profundo llamado de servicio? ¿Qué más información necesitamos antes de tomar el riesgo de decidir? ¿Cuál es el momento adecuado para tomar una decisión? porque una de las dificultades del discernimiento es seguir discerniendo y no decidir. En otras palabras, podemos atascarnos.
Si podemos ayudarla a tomar una decisión o para despegarse, póngase en contacto con nosotras. También es posible que desee ver estas historias de otras personas que se han arriesgado y decidido.
Que el Espíritu la guíe en su decisión, Hermana Tarianne
Reading the stories in the New Testament about what happened to individual people when they met Jesus, we glimpse the powerful impact of those encounters.
From the lowly shepherds and wise magi visiting Jesus at his birth to his meeting with Mary Magdalene in the garden after his resurrection, we realize each person was deeply affected by being in his presence. Scripture recounts the many times Jesus healed people physically. He also raised sons, daughters, and friends back to life. As we slow down and think more deeply, we conclude not only their lives were transformed but the lives of those around them were most likely totally changed as a result of encountering Jesus.
Vocations, or calls from God to respond to our life’s purpose, are grounded in encounters with Jesus. These encounters include those we meet with great awareness and encounters with him we only later discover were hidden in the shadow of a deeper conversation we had with a friend, a parent, a co-worker, our boss, or a spiritual director. We can experience the encounter as an ordinary happening or something that profoundly touched our hearts when we read it in an online blog or saw the powerful witness of someone giving her or his life for others.
The Spirit of Jesus can work anywhere, anytime, and through anyone or any circumstance in our lives. As those who were lame, blind, or in need of instruction clamored to be in the presence of Jesus once they heard about what he did, we also have opportunities of encounter. May we ready our hearts to pay attention to them. They may look differently than they did in Jesus’ time, but the encounters with him are no less real.
As the Psalmist said, “If today you hear his voice, harden not your hearts,” Sister Tarianne
El Encuentro que nos Transforma
Al leer las historias en el Nuevo Testamento sobre los acontecimientos a las personas cuando conocieron a Jesús, divisamos el impacto poderoso de esos encuentros.
Desde los humildes pastores y los magos sabios visitando a Jesús en su nacimiento hasta su encuentro con María Magdalena en el jardín después de su resurrección, nos damos cuenta de que cada persona estaba profundamente afectada por estar en su presencia. Las escrituras relatan las muchas veces que Jesús sanó físicamente a las personas. También resucitó a vida a hijos, hijas, y amigos. Mientras reducimos nuestros pasos, y pensamos más profundamente, llegamos a la conclusión de que no solo sus vidas fueron transformadas, sino que las vidas de quienes los rodeaban probablemente fueron totalmente cambiadas como resultado de encontrarse con Jesús.
Las vocaciones, o los llamados de Dios para responder al propósito de nuestra vida, están asimentadas en encuentros con Jesús. Estos encuentros incluyen aquellos con los que nos encontramos con gran conocimiento y los encuentros con él solo descubrimos más tarde se ocultaron en la sombra de una conversación más profunda que tuvimos con un amigo, un padre, un compañero de trabajo, nuestro jefe, o un director espiritual. Podemos experimentar el encuentro como un acontecimiento ordinario o algo que conmovió profundamente nuestros corazones cuando lo leemos en un blog en línea o vimos el poderoso testimonio de alguien que da su vida por los demás.
El Espíritu de Jesús puede trabajar en cualquier lugar, en cualquier momento, y a través de cualquier persona o cualquier circunstancia en nuestras vidas. Como aquellos que eran cojos, ciegos, o que necesitaban instrucción clamaban estar en la presencia de Jesús una vez que escucharon sobre lo que él hizo, también tenemos oportunidades de encuentro. Que preparemos nuestros corazones para ponerles atención. Es posible que tengan una apariencia diferente a las del tiempo de Jesús, pero los encuentros con él no son menos reales.
Como dijo el Salmista: "Si hoy oyes su voz, no endurezcas tu corazón," Hermana Tarianne
It’s not hard for me to imagine the scene when the Gospel on the Feast of the Annunciation is read on March 25th. Out of the several exchanges the young Mary has with the visiting angel Gabriel, it ends with Mary saying, “Yes, I see it all now: I'm ... ready to serve. Let it be with me just as you say.” Or today we might translate it, “Yes, ok. I’ll do it.”
And with her “yes” Mary of Nazareth’s life was forever changed. From that time forward she dependably repeated her “yes” to other more ordinary events happened in her life.
In each of our lives, we are only asked for the next “yes.” To a variety of experiences and opportunities in our lives we agree to enter into them – or not. The choice is ours.
In discerning God’s call for our lives, as with Mary’s invitation to be the mother of Jesus, we only need to attend to our response for the “yes” in the moment. All the future “yes-es” we’ll be asked to give will come one at a time. Each time we may be asked to give a little more and stretch a little farther in our life journey. But also when we are asked anew, we have more information about our choices, more insight and, hopefully, more willingness to say ”Yes.”
Stay calm. Stay centered. As Jesus recommends, “remain” in his love. When asked, there’s no need to jump too far into the future and fuel our anxiety. Focus on the choice before you. Will you say “yes” this time?
May our God of abundance be with you, Sister Tarianne
Ella dijo, “Sí"
No me es dificil imaginar la escena cuando se lea el Evangelio en el dia de la Fiesta de la Anunciación el 25 de Marzo. Despues de los varios intercambios que la joven María tiene con el ángel visitante Gabriel, termina con María diciendo: "Sí, ahora lo veo todo: yo estoy ... lista para servir. Deja que esté conmigo como dices.” U hoy podemos traducirlo, “Sí, está bien. Lo hare."
Y con su "sí", la vida de María de Nazaret cambió para siempre. Desde ese momento en adelante, ella repitió de manera confiable su "sí" a otros eventos más comunes que sucedieron en su vida.
En cada una de nuestras vidas, solo se nos pide el siguiente "sí." A una variedad de experiencias y oportunidades en nuestras vidas, accedemos a participar en ellas - o no. La decisión es nuestra.
Al discernir el llamado de Dios para nuestras vidas, como con la invitación de María a ser la madre de Jesús, solo tenemos que atender a nuestra respuesta para el "sí" en el momento. Todos los futuros "sí-s" que se nos pedirá daremos uno por uno. Cada vez se nos puede pedir que demos un poco más y que nos estiremos un poco más en la jornada de nuestra vida. Pero también cuando se nos pregunta de nuevo, tenemos más información sobre nuestras decisiones, más información y, más visión y, con suerte, más disposición para decir "Sí."
Mantén la calma. Mantente centrada. Como Jesús recomienda, “permanece” en su amor. Cuando se le pregunte, no es necesario saltar demasiado hacia el futuro y alimentar nuestra ansiedad. Concéntrate en la decisión que tienes ante ti. ¿Dirás “sí” esta vez?
Que nuestro Dios de abundancia esté contigo. Hermana Tarianne
Mary’s “yes” to the angel when told she was favored and chosen to bear the Son of God, inspires us by its simple consent and its leap of faith into an uncertain future. She knew she couldn’t fully know or understand what she was getting herself into. But Mary placed her trust in God.
None of us when discerning our future path knows for sure that this or that is the right choice for us because there is no way to know the unknown. It really is all about our willingness to trust that God loves us. In our love and trust, when we have done our best to listen to what the Holy Spirit has in mind for our lives, we step onto the path, continuing to trust in God’s love.
In these days of Advent waiting we can allow ourselves a little extra time to be still, to welcome silence into our lives. Silence is God’s best way to communicate. Our listening and really hearing is best done in silence too.
May you be still enough to hear the still, small whispers of God, Sister Tarianne
To jump start your listening: http://www.adriandominicans.org/BecomeaSister/EnteringtheLife.aspx
With the start of Advent we begin a time of waiting for the coming of Jesus into our daily lives. In a strange way Advent reminds me of flower bulbs. These oddly-shaped forms are planted in the autumn here in the northern hemisphere, come up every spring and then blossom in beauty. Without waiting throughout the winter buried in the darkness under the soil, they wouldn’t be able to blossom. Darkness and waiting are essential to the fulfillment of their purpose.
When we discern what God’s call is for our lives we often do lots of waiting, praying, and listening without knowing just what the answer may be or when it will come to us. Much like the bulbs (were they able to feel) we wait without knowing, sometimes impatiently, until the time is right. We’re not in control, just as the conditions needed for bulbs to grow are not.
During Advent we’re invited to enter into the mystery, the waiting and the right time to receive the guidance we need.
Blessings on your Advent waiting, Sister Tarianne
While it probably takes a lifetime to realize the truth embedded in what Jesus told people as he walked on Earth, initially his words about following him can be daunting! Many times we get scared and want to walk away from him, giving a solid “No!” to his invitation to follow his ways.
Each person has a call from God to make of her/his life what God has in mind. Inside ourselves we feel a desire for more until we have found what’s right for our life. We try one thing or another, one direction or a different one, but recognize after awhile that this is not the right way. St. Augustine said, “Our hearts are restless until they rest in [God].”
This alignment with God’s desires for us is what discerning is all about. Whether we spend our time alone in discernment or not, at some point we all benefit from a listening ear, a listening heart that gives us feedback on what we’re pondering for our lives. God wants only the best for us and draws us toward it. May we be open enough and willing to search for that precious path!
As we persist in seeking, we will find, Sister Tarianne
For more hints about discerning, check out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6hmujPi7mM
That famous question, “Who do you say that I am?” occurs in this Sunday’s Gospel. It can be a very important discernment question because how we answer it affects everything. If you say Jesus was a good man who set a good example, that may be nice, but it doesn’t necessarily call a person to any radical change. If you say Jesus is the one who will judge us in the end, then it might just make you anxious and act out of guilt. If you say Jesus is the creator of the universe manifesting in human form to teach us how to live and love, you might feel more drawn to respond with your life. At a very personal level, we probably answer this question differently from others, and even for ourselves at different points in our lives. Because Jesus is also a ‘person,’ we are in a relationship, and relationships change over time. Jesus may not change, but our understanding of him and way of relating to him will. Some of the different answers I have had to this question: Jesus you are… my partner… my hope… a caress… a challenger… the one I take time with each night and morning… the core relationship in my life. Discernment involves other people. But the strongest voice in becoming who I am, and discerning what I am called to do, is the voice of Jesus. Who do you say Jesus is? Blessings, Sister Lorraine
By Sister Patty Harvat, OP
Pentecost is a Jewish feast that comes 50 days after the celebration of Passover, the holiday season in which Jesus was crucified. On the feast of Pentecost, the disciples of Jesus were gathered together in a room sometimes known as the “upper room.”
Doors were locked for fear of the Jews, and hearts were locked in grief.
“There are some griefs so loud They could bring down the sky And there are griefs so still None knows how deep they lie...” - May Sarton
What are the emotions filling this room?
In the midst of this Jesus appears and says, “Peace be with you.”
What is this upper room? Your upper room?
Is our upper room being in solidarity with people who lost everything through fire, hurricanes, volcanic eruptions, who say, “This is all we have known our whole life. What do we do now?” Or sitting quietly in front of the TV, watching the slow death of our Earth as climate change stills the heartbeat of Mother Earth’s life?
Think about your upper room, whatever is going on … it impacts me … because we are community … we are together in that locked room.
And it’s in that locked room that Jesus appears and says, “Peace,” breathes on us, and says, “Receive the Holy Spirit.”
The Holy Spirit comes to us in a small flame. Whatever gift we receive is what we need to take with us as we leave our upper room. What gift of the Spirit, what Pentecost Fire, did you pray for?
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Get out your bell-bottoms and platform shoes, because DISCO is here!
Okay, so it's a little less dancing, a little more talking... Sisters Lorraine Réaume, OP, and Sara Fairbanks, OP, have a video series called DISCO (Discernment Conversations): Dancing with the questions of life!