We humans fret a lot about what God might want us to do with our lives, as if we’re in a powerful guessing game and we must get it right or else. There is no need to fret and no need to guess what God is thinking. When we pay attention to our deep desires, we discover the purpose of our lives. The challenge is to know ourselves well enough that we become aware of our deepest desires in life.
This is where prayer and quiet are invaluable. A wise guide, mentor, or spiritual director can help as well. God created us out of love so we can love. God’s desire for us is to be able to love in the best ways possible throughout our lives. Whether as a single person, or with a spouse through married life, or serving with others in a community in religious life, it doesn’t matter to God. Discernment helps us sort through our choices and find what fits best.
God desires our happiness and the fulfillment of our gifts, given for sharing in whatever community we choose. If you haven’t thought about how you desire to share God’s love with the world, I encourage you to investigate. Don’t assume you know. Ask yourself, “What is my deep desire?” Explore options for your life. Pay close attention. Talk with and listen to others. Don’t eliminate options too soon. Give yourself a chance to explore.
If you think you would benefit by a weekend of discernment, please consider the “Come and See” weekend in November 8-10 here in Adrian. You can register online.
The Sisters pray for your discernment,
El Emparejamiento de Deseos
Como humanas nos preocupamos mucho de lo que Dios quiere que hagamos con nuestras vidas, como si estuviéramos en un poderoso juego de adivinanzas y debemos hacerlo bien o ya veremos! No hay necesidad de preocuparse ni de adivinar lo que Dios está pensando. Cuando prestamos atención a nuestros deseos más profundos, descubrimos el propósito de nuestras vidas. El desafío es conocernos lo suficientemente bien como para que nos demos cuenta de nuestros profundos deseos en la vida.
Aquí es donde la oración y la solemnidad tienen mucho valor. Una guía sabia, mentora, o directora espiritual también nos puede ayudar. Dios nos creó por amor para que podamos amar. El deseo de Dios para nosotras es poder amar de la mejor manera posible a lo largo de nuestras vidas. Ya sea como una persona soltera o con un cónyuge a través de la vida matrimonial o sirviendo con otras en una comunidad en la vida religiosa, no le importa a Dios. El discernimiento nos ayuda a clasificar nuestras elecciones y encontrar lo que sea más adecuado.
Dios desea nuestra felicidad y el cumplimiento de nuestros dones, dados para compartir en cualquier comunidad que elijamos. Si no ha pensado en cómo desea compartir el amor de Dios con el mundo, la animo a investigar. No asuma que lo sabe. Pregúntese: "¿Cuál es mi deseo profundo?" Explore las opciones para su vida. Preste mucha atención. Hable y escuche a las demás. No elimine las opciones ligeramente. Dese la oportunidad de explorar.
Si cree que se beneficiaría con un fin de semana de discernimiento, considere el fin de semana “Come and See” en Noviembre 8-10 aquí en Adrian. Puede registrarse en línea.
Las hermanas rezan por su discernimiento,
We have a Peace plant in our office that hasn’t been doing as well as it could for some time. We’ve tried cutting it back, fertilizing it, aerating the soil, adding soil, moving it to a different spot so it gets more light, but nothing seems to evoke the growth we’d like to see. This week I tried placing it in a new container. Of course, as I was re-potting the plant I began to think about the discernment process.
At some point when we discern we can get stuck. I mean “stuck” as in there’s no movement forward or backward. The decisions about our future still loom but there’s nothing obvious to keep its forward momentum. A new “container” can help with this stage in the process.
By a “new” container we could mean using a new method, such as journaling when we hadn’t done it previously. Or it could be a different place to pray, such as a chapel, church, or out in nature if we’ve only been at home praying. Or it could mean finding someone skilled in listening to us, besides our friends or family members. A new container shifts energy and often opens us to new growth. When it’s the right time, the Holy Spirit inspires us to move to those new containers, those new choices.
If you have been honestly paying attention in your efforts to discern God’s call for you, why not pay attention to the “containers” you’ve been using. A new one may be just the receptacle to welcome your prayers and ponderings!
Blessings as you try new possibilities,
Un Nuevo Envase
Tenemos una planta de Paz en nuestra oficina que no ha estado floreciendo tan bien como podría por algún tiempo. Hemos intentado recortarla, fertilizarla, airear la tierra, agregarle tierra, moverla a un lugar diferente para que reciba más luz, pero nada parece estimular el crecimiento que nos gustaría ver. Esta semana la puse en un nuevo envase. Por supuesto, mientras volvía a plantarla, me puse a pensar en el proceso del discernimiento.
En algún momento cuando discernimos podemos quedarnos atascadas. Cuando digo “atascada”, me refiero a que no hay movimiento hacia adelante o hacia atrás. Las decisiones sobre nuestro futuro aún se vislumbran, pero no hay nada obvio para mantener su impulso hacia adelante. Un nuevo "envase" puede ayudar con esta etapa del proceso.
Un "nuevo" envase podría ser usar un nuevo método, como escribir en un diario cuando no lo habíamos hecho anteriormente. O podría ser rezar en un lugar diferente, como una capilla, una iglesia, o la naturaleza si solo estábamos en casa rezando. O podría significar encontrar a alguien que sea un experto en escucharnos, además de nuestras amigas o familiares. Un nuevo envase cambia la energía y muchas veces nos abre a un nuevo crecimiento. Cuando sea el momento adecuado, el Espíritu Santo nos inspira a movernos a esos nuevos envases, esas nuevas opciones.
Si ha estado honestamente prestando atención en sus esfuerzos por discernir el llamado de Dios para usted, ¿por qué no prestar atención a los "envases" que ha estado utilizando? ¡Uno nuevo puede ser precisamente el envase adecuado para recibir sus oraciones y reflexiones!
Bendiciones al probar nuevas posibilidades,
One of the keys to support ourselves during times of discernment is through prayer. That ability to be silent before God as a listener is as vital as picturing ourselves in the presence of a wise person. Ask a simple question at the start of prayer, “Loving One, what do you want me to do with my life?” Then, wait in silence to hear the response.
Asking a question similar to this one probably won’t be a one-time experience of asking and then hearing the response, because this (and others like it) is a profound question! It may take many times for us to hear, really tune in to how the response comes. In prayer and quiet time, we are preparing to receive something precious from the One who loves us.
Receptivity and openness, not attachment to a specific outcome, allows us to hear well. We may be surprised by how our response comes. It could be through an insight received during prayer, a seemingly accidental conversation with another person, going for a walk, fixing a meal, doing dishes, or taking a shower. The response may just show up and our heart will know “this is it.” If we don’t know the full answer to our question, we will know the next step to take.
Discerning is a journey, a pilgrimage, during which we discover clues along the paths we walk. We can feel joy and be assured that all the paths lead to the same end, connection with our God.
May you have patience and persistence walking this path,
Why is personal prayer so important? Watch this video.
El Camino de Escuchar
Una de las claves para sostenernos durante los tiempos de discernimiento es a través de la oración. Esa capacidad de guardar silencio ante Dios como oyente es tan vital como imaginarnos en presencia de una persona sabia. Haga una pregunta sencilla al comienzo de la oración: “Amado, ¿qué quieres que haga con mi vida?” Luego, espera en silencio para escuchar la respuesta.
Hacer esta pregunta probablemente no será una experiencia única de preguntar y luego escuchar la respuesta, ¡porque esta es una pregunta profunda! Puede que nos cueste muchas veces escuchar, realmente sintonizarnos en como llega la respuesta. En oración y en silencio, nos estamos preparando para recibir algo precioso de Aquel que nos ama. La receptividad y la sensibilidad, no el apego a un resultado específico, nos permite escuchar bien.
Nos puede sorprender cómo llega nuestra respuesta. Puede ser a través de una percepción recibida durante la oración, una conversación aparentemente accidental con otra persona, salir a caminar, preparar una comida, lavar los platos o tomar una ducha. La respuesta puede aparecer repentinamente y nuestro corazón sabrá que "esta es." Si no sabemos la respuesta completa a nuestra pregunta, sabremos el próximo paso a seguir.
Discernir es un viaje, un peregrinaje, durante el cual descubrimos señales a lo largo de los senderos que caminamos. Podemos sentir alegría y tener la seguridad de que nuestros caminos nos llevan al mismo fin, la conexión con nuestro Dios.
Que tengas paciencia y persistencia recorriendo el camino de escuchar,
¿Por qué es tan importante la oración personal? Vea.
May you have patience and persistence walking this path,
I was leading a group in some prayer exercises and I was really touched by an experience one of the women had. In the first part, she shared that she was really struggling with impatience. It was something really heavy for her and she felt terrible about how impatient she was with those around her, especially her family.
The next prayer led people to ask God how God is calling them to new life now. She expected to be told by God that she was called to be less impatient. Instead, she received a clear message: she was called to the joy of patience.
How like our God of life! Instead of focusing on what was wrong, God invited this woman to embrace the opposite grace. God did not condemn her for her faults, but rather welcomed her to new life and joy. Tears were running down her face as she shared this response.
Take a look at whatever negative aspect of yourself you are struggling with. Now try and identify the opposite gift or virtue. Instead of fighting so hard to change something bad, put your energy into embracing something good.
“I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and your joy may be complete.” John 15:11
Centering prayer is an ancient prayer of inner awakening to divine presence in the silence of our being. In this prayer we gently let go of our thoughts, feelings, and anxious planning, and sink into that open space within ourselves where God dwells in hidden closeness. When I practice this prayer I feel somehow free from my personal story. I sense a joy in knowing that God’s presence extends far beyond my thoughts, feelings, and achievements, and resides in the depths of my soul soaring into eternity. This awareness of union with God is at the heart of the spiritual life.
How can sitting in the silence of centering prayer help us to respond effectively to various life situations? Clearly, we are not deliberating on our problems and searching for solid solutions during this prayer of silence. Centering prayer, however, trains us to separate from our thoughts and feelings and to wait for God’s wisdom and guidance rather than jumping to easy answers prematurely. As Albert Einstein once said, “no problem can be solved from the same consciousness that created it.” By learning to orient ourselves toward God in centering prayer, we learn to see our life situations from a new divine perspective. The direction we need to go becomes clear and we are emboldened to take loving action for the betterment of those around us.
This week’s blogger is Sister Ellen Burkhardt, OP.
“I don’t believe you brought me this far to leave me.”
These words are from a hymn we sing in my parish in Detroit, one of my favorites. We sang it one week while I was discerning a call to religious life, and honestly, I thought the words were jumping off the page and into my heart with a message specially formulated for me! God seemed to speak directly to me through the words “I haven’t brought you this far just to walk away from you now. Trust me, now and into the future.”
As is often the case for those struggling with a discernment issue, I was filled with questions: How can I know that this is where God is leading me? Why won’t these questions go away? I also had concerns about giving up my home and a career I loved. I worried about entering religious life and then discovering that it doesn’t fit me. What would I do then?
Over time, with the help of prayer and spiritual direction, I came to a deeper trust that the same God who led me this far, will accompany me today and each day that follows.
In an hour, I will be heading out for a week’s retreat. I have been doing an annual silent retreat for over 25 years. This yearly intensive time with God keeps me grounded. Some of the prayer experiences have remained with me as pivotal times that have changed my life. Those experiences with God in prayer are as vivid as other powerful life experiences. It used to be easier to shut down to enter this sacred time. I am old enough to have begun doing retreats pre-email and pre-cellphone, and I’m not even that old!
When you were on retreat, you were on retreat and only accessible by an emergency contact number. Now, I have set two e-mail accounts to “out of office,” post on Facebook that I will be away, change my voicemail message and change my cellphone message. On top of that, I am going to turn off my phone. I have only had a smartphone for four years, but it amazes me the power it has – the seductive way it calls out to us to be connected, aware and reachable at all times.
Sometimes the illusion of connection can actually take away from intimacy – intimacy with God, those we share life with, friends, and even our surroundings. Of course, our phones help us to serve, learn, and connect. But there is a cost as well. We need to put them in their proper place. For this week, that proper place will be powered off in a drawer.
Is there a way this summer that you are called to disconnect in order to connect more deeply with our God?
If four strong people were each holding the corner of a blanket, would you let yourself fall back into it with confidence? Probably. If one person dropped their side, what would happen? You would tumble out on to the floor. Or, if another person decided to suddenly raise their side, what would happen? You would slide right out.
I just saw this demonstrated literally at the Dominican College Preaching Conference. The point was: to live well and discern well, we need to have a balanced life. As Dominicans we talk about the four key pillars that keep our lives in balance: prayer, study, community and preaching (ministry or service). While sometimes we might focus on one area more than another, if we completely drop one or over-stress one, we lose our stability. Being in balance helps us to live well and to choose well.
Is your life in balance?
Sometimes we think we’ve figured out a future direction, that we’ve discerned something, but than the other people involved don’t come to the same conclusion. It’s rather unsettling and can be very confusing. You can decide that you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, but if they decide they don’t want to be with you, you obviously can’t force a relationship! This is true for a friendship, a job, and even a religious congregation. Discernment is a two way process – we do all we can to be faithful to God’s desire for our life, and then we hold it lightly. We need to leave God, the other person, and even ourselves free.
We are coming up to a General Chapter, a meeting held every six years in which we make decisions about our future direction and elect new leaders. We have been actively engaged in discerning for almost two years. No doubt many of us sisters will arrive with a strong sense of where we need to go in the future. And no doubt these ideas will not all be the same. We now will be called to discern together, to hold lightly the ideas that we bring and to hear the voice of God in the other.
Discernment is always bigger than “me and God.” What are the other voices you need to attend to in your own discernment?
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Sister Tarianne DeYonker, OP
Sister Mariane Fahlman, OP
Adrian Dominican Sisters
1257 East Siena Heights Drive
Adrian, Michigan 49221-1793
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Get out your bell-bottoms and platform shoes, because DISCO is here!
Okay, so it's a little less dancing, a little more talking... Sisters Lorraine Réaume, OP, and Sara Fairbanks, OP, have a video series called DISCO (Discernment Conversations): Dancing with the questions of life!